When we think of intimacy, for most, the first thing that comes to mind is a sexual relationship. Intimacy is much more; it is a personal or private relationship that is achieved through knowledge and experience. Intimate relationships are formed between friends, family, and romantic partners. Do you know true intimacy?
Intimacy in any relationship requires open and honest communication, confidence, vulnerability and reciprocity. Intimacy is different depending upon the type and level of the relationship (i.e. friendship, dating and marriage). There must be a level of confidence that allows each person to totally allow their guard down and to speak genuinely from the heart. Two types of intimacy are emotional and physical.
Emotional intimacy is achieved in all types of intimate relationships. Emotional intimacy is where you learn to accept the other person, for who they are without conditions or reservations. When emotional intimacy is achieved each person has the confidence to disclose their innermost selves and feelings. It is an uninhibited mutual self disclosure.
Physical intimacy is very different form emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy can take place with or without the presence of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy usually develops after physical bonds have been established. Physical intimacy is not just the act of sexual intercourse; it includes sensual and sexual activities. Activities such as: holding hands; tenderly touching and caressing of the body; hugging and cuddling; and kissing. Research by behavioral psychologist, Desmond Morris, identifies 12 steps of physical intimacy: Eye to Body, Eye to Eye, Voice to Voice, Hand to Hand, Arm to Shoulder, Arm to Waist, Mouth to Mouth, Hand to Head, Hand to Body, Mouth to Breast, Hand to Genitals, and finally, Sexual Intercourse.
People have the need to belong and to feel connected, which is sought in intimate relationships. Although you have your own needs, you must be mindful and recognize the needs of your partners. Intimacy is a two way street, reciprocity, and you must acknowledge and fulfill the needs and desires of your partner. In other words, it’s not all about you! Realizing and appreciating the essence of your partner will lead to great intimacy, on all levels. Be sure to look beyond your own self centered needs and focus on the comforts and pleasures of those you hold dear. Reach out, touch, feel, need, want…don’t be shy!
Ways to Improve Intimacy
- Ways to Improve Intimacy
- Know and manage your own emotions
- Pay attention and listen effectively
- Accept Spend time together and resolve issuesand get comfortable with your own desires
- Compromise with your partner
- Stay Active, intimacy is connected to how much exercise you get. Exercise increases your energy
- Bathe/shower together
- Increase foreplay
Today’s Advice: Simply, get real and be open!
Article by Kia
Article by Kia
