BY KIA
The desire to cheat is a fundamental, and unconscious, part of human nature; however, not everyone will cheat. Statistics show that 57% of men and 54% of women; admit to cheating in their relationships.
The desire to cheat is a fundamental, and unconscious, part of human nature; however, not everyone will cheat. Statistics show that 57% of men and 54% of women; admit to cheating in their relationships.
In a relationship, cheating is defined based on a partner acting outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship. Cheating, no matter the relationship, is a deliberate violation of those boundaries and the boundaries evolve within each relationship. Violations can include: expressing attraction to another, flirting, electronic communications (email, texting, webcam, IM, etc), kissing, making out, and sexual relations.
Cheating is generally driven by circumstances and emotions; it is more situational and less intentional. Most are shocked at their own behavior afterward. According to research by Barash and Lipton, biological evidence indicated that long-term monogamy is difficult for humans to achieve (not impossible but difficult). So, contrary to what we’ve been taught, monogamy is NOT nature it’s nurture. Those who do decide to cheat are acting on their innate animal instincts. However, all animals are taught how to behave. Like humans were taught to wear clothes; human’s can be taught fidelity.
1. Problems in the Relationship – People tend to stray when they are not happy with the state of their current relationship. Cheating is more common when people feel unappreciated, taken for granted, undesired, misunderstood and when arguing is common place.
Kia’s Advice: Take time to listen and less time talking, you may learn something!
Kia’s Advice: Take time to listen and less time talking, you may learn something!
2. Lack of intimacy and sex – Women are more inclined to cheat when there is a lack of intimacy; while men are more inclined when there is a lack of sex. Without intimacy how do you achieve sex? Intimacy and sex go hand in hand. Sexual desire varies from person to person, according to the research of Buss and Shackelford, sexual desire is influenced by genetics. Some people have a very high sex drive while others are less concerned or interested in sex.
Kia’s Advice: Variety, variety, variety!! Fellas, if you are seeking more sex, try a little foreplay and romance, the ladies love it! And ladies, stop being so uptight! Sometimes he needs you to leave the lady at the door and bring the freak to bed!
Kia’s Advice: Variety, variety, variety!! Fellas, if you are seeking more sex, try a little foreplay and romance, the ladies love it! And ladies, stop being so uptight! Sometimes he needs you to leave the lady at the door and bring the freak to bed!
3. Opportunity – Couples who have separate social lives, friends etc, are more like to cheat than those who spend more time together. The more free time people have the more likely they are to cheat (Buss & Shackelford research). In addition, if a person is just an opportunist, they will cheat just because they know they can. They know there mate will continue to take them back no matter what.
Kia’s Advice: Everyone needs personal time, so I’m not suggesting you spend every waking moment together. But, make sure to spend quality time together engaged in fun and intimate activity.
Kia’s Advice: Everyone needs personal time, so I’m not suggesting you spend every waking moment together. But, make sure to spend quality time together engaged in fun and intimate activity.
4. Reassurance – Some people just need to be reminded that they still got “it”; whatever “it” may be in their eyes. When a person feels they are no longer attractive to their mate, they may reach out to someone else who shows them the interest they are lacking at home.
Kia’s Advice: Be sure to give attention and show appreciation. If you don’t, be certain that someone is waiting in the shadows to do so!
Kia’s Advice: Be sure to give attention and show appreciation. If you don’t, be certain that someone is waiting in the shadows to do so!
5. Risk & Thrill – The majority don’t cheat because there is something missing but because of the thrill of something new, different and exciting; kind of like driving a new Corvette. In addition, some people who take risks or have a sense of adventure are more likely to cheat than those who are more conservative and timid. Genetically, some people may be more predisposed to risk taking than others.
Kia’s Advice: To my risk takers and thrill seekers, like with all things new – the newness will wear off. So be certain to weigh those odds, as if you were putting up your last dollars on the poker table!
Kia’s Advice: To my risk takers and thrill seekers, like with all things new – the newness will wear off. So be certain to weigh those odds, as if you were putting up your last dollars on the poker table!
6. Learned behavior – When children witness their parent cheating, they can draw the conclusion that cheating is a normal part of life. Statistically, 80% of children, where one or both parents cheated, will also become a cheater. They tend to view cheating as an entitlement and engage in cheating with little guilt or remorse.
Kia’s Advice: Parents, like everything else, be careful what you do in front of children! And to those who want to you use what their parents did as an excuse, try a new angle – you have your own brain and can learn new tricks!
Kia’s Advice: Parents, like everything else, be careful what you do in front of children! And to those who want to you use what their parents did as an excuse, try a new angle – you have your own brain and can learn new tricks!
7. Revenge – Cheat on them and they will cheat on you; real simple an eye for an eye.
Kia’s Advice: Treat others how you want to be treated. Watch out for the boomerang effect, what you throw out will return to you!
Kia’s Advice: Treat others how you want to be treated. Watch out for the boomerang effect, what you throw out will return to you!
At the end of the day it is easy to cheat and more difficult to make relationships work. Relationships require much work and cheating usually offers instant gratification. Take time to give your relationship the care and attention is requires because eventually that new person will require just as much, if not more. If you are unable to maintain your relationship, do both parties a favor and part amicably. Nothing amicable will come out of cheating.
